tunicaintima | Supernatural AU for Roland

I don't know. I just want to get back to them!

[As he snaps, the scene he'd nagged the shadow to create doesn't evaporate--but it is interrupted by some inaccuracy. Hazy outlines of wolves and men filter past Firo, their laughter and howling echoing through the night as if made by giants. Firo watches them longingly, then whips his face back towards the shadow.]

Don't you have anybody you need to get home too?

[There's a pause. A spot in the forest, visible but distant, is lit in red-tinged light.]

I still have work to do. But with those hunters taken care of, it can wait a while. Why so urgent? Are they going to be needing you for something?

Need?

[Firo shakes his head to clear it. The light out in the woods catches his eye, and he takes a few cautious steps toward it.]

They don't need me, but I--

[He wants to be with them. Firo clenches both fists.]

It's my job to be with them. That's what I'm supposed to do--they're my pack.

Oh. It's duty that holds you there.

[The shadow nods. That he understands. Those steps toward the memory of light, that the shadow does not respond to. He's hardly noticed it's there.]

Any more immediate reason to get back? If they don't need you and you don't need them, we can take our time about figuring all this out, here.

Wh-what?

[Firo blinks at the shadow, voice verging on distress. Is this guy speaking a different language? Yeah, Firo said straight out he wasn't needed, but he could be! Surely anyone would see that! Even a guy who's not necessary could be useful--and at any moment, so there's every reason to return immediately.]

Of course I gotta 'immediate reason'! I just told you! Don't you get how this stuff works?

[Absent any real direction, Firo starts for that light. He looks over his shoulder to make sure the shadow's following--and in case he needs to yell at him more.]

Obviously I don't.

[There's a pause. The shadow looks down, thinking, and when he looks up the boy's already started walking. The shadow doesn't need to walk to catch up; in a second he is beside him.]

It has to do with pack somehow. That's where I'm misunderstanding you. Do your superiors expect you to be available to them at all times?

[Firo just stares at the shadow after it appears by his side. Not because he's surprised by its presence, but because it's not following the script at all. Here is where, despite Firo's cogent and well-presented argument a moment ago, they disagree and yell at each other.

Hm. If there's some sort of hidden insult in here, Firo doesn't see it. He decides to proceed cautiously all the same.]

I--well, yeah, why not? We stick together, that's what we do.

[In a memory there's no need for a breeze, so the wind pushing at the leaves and making branches slap against each other must be a sigh. It's a heavy one, if brief.]

Never did enjoy being kept in the dark. I still don't understand what's so urgent about it. Mayhap it's too self evident for you to tell me. Must be a wolf thing.

Headed anywhere in particular?

But I am tellin' you!

[In context, his bafflement may seem obtuse, but it's genuine. This is a wolf thing.]

Don't you see that light? Maybe it's something. We don't exactly have any leads now.

[He stops.]

I may not understand your duty to your pack, but I understand mine. I understand that my duty is something I ought kill to keep secret.

[And then, because it has occurred to him that not everything is so obvious to the living as it is to him-]

You're moving toward it right now. There are risks involved in seeing, Firo Prochainezo, and not all of them come from me. Not too late - you can turn back yet.

Is that a threat?

[Firo peers back over his shoulder.]

What's so important about keepin' it a secret? I won't tell anybody.

[Doesn't exactly have anyone to tell right now, which is why he can make that promise so lightly.]

You won't, hm? You ever tried keeping a secret?

That isn't the point, anyway. Or not all of it. Some who saw there was no need to kill. Some ran mad.

Do you need to know, Firo Prochainezo? Do you truly need to see?

What's that supposed to mean?

[He bristles at the question but calms quickly enough to drop the major caveat as an afterthought. It's just obvious:]

Well, I'd tell my pack when I saw 'em, but that's different.

...Besides, they need to know if there's a guy making people go crazy in the area.

[And doesn't this guy know that giving him information just makes him more curious? Curiosity may kill the cat, but there's always another kitty who refuses to learn from the example of the ones before him.]

Are you listening to me at all?

[That thought's a little bit stronger than the rest of them, a little more forceful, because he's just a little bit angry.]

You'd promise to keep a secret in one breath and break that promise in the very next? You'd doom your pack to that, to seeing what I've kept so well hidden all this time, to- what? For what purpose? What could possibly make unity with your pack, sharing truth with them, that important?

[Ordinarily, the anger might make Firo want to bite back. Right now, he's too confused by the dissonance--obviously he'd tell his pack. That's not not keeping the secret.]

But they should know anything I know. That's different.

[He pauses. There was something pretty dire in the rest of the shadow's words, wasn't there? He finally stops walking and shifts to face the shadow completely.]

Why do you think it'd doom us?

[That gets a moment of silence. It's the last question he'd expected to be asked. The answer is so obvious to him, so much so that putting it into words is difficult.]

Look at me, boy.

[He waits, waiting for the boy to look, giving him time to look well, and deeply.]

Look at me, and think what you want for your pack. For yourself. And I - what's left of me - I am the best of it. The best of all those possible fates. I at least have my mind.

[A shiver runs through all the leaves on the trees. A rustling shiver, a wordless message moving through the air on the heels of his thought, a brief and creeping doubt.]

If you leave this place with any knowledge of my secret at all, any way to find the true vision of which I guard - something more than this shadow of a memory - you must not lead your pack to it. Do you understand? It isn't just a threat, child. You must not.

Edited (code) 2017-02-15 23:06 (UTC)

[Firo looks. At first his expression is mild, his eyebrows raised in simple curiosity. Those eyebrows knit together the more the shadow speaks.

What's left of him? And here Firo had been thinking of the shadow as something else rather than something less.

For once, Firo doesn't react to being called a child--he's sort of brought his pack into this, so finding out what's going on is more important.]

...So you're saying that's what happened to you? You used to be normal before you saw that thing?

The hell is it?

It's-

[The thought can't finish, because the shadow has no idea how to finish it. It has never occurred to him to try to describe it before. The words to describe it might not exist. The thoughts to describe it might not exist. If they do they're locked away, and it would take more than a question - even from the first person he's spoken to in all his memory - to give him a reason to unlock them.]

A place. A very powerful place. One where all the forces which shape our... our existence, they all intersect there. To look into it is to see. To truly see. Worse, to understand. It's that which loses men their minds, I think.

Here... I don't know. In this place it might be just a memory. My memory. I don't know what I might remember. You said you'd never had lessons in the mental magics, didn't you? Damn shame. I could use a few thoughts on that, on what a place like that might symbolize here. Could be important.

[He sighs again, sending the leaves into a brief rattle.]

But what it could do to you even as an echo, even just an impression of itself... How badly do you want to leave here, Firo Prochainezo? How badly do you want the risk?

[Whatever the shadow's saying is clearly important, but it's all too abstract--Firo only continues listening in case it winds up having some sort of relevance to his family.

He doesn't miss the juxtaposition of this "echo's" power with the prospect of leaving that place. He rocks forward on his toes, clearly interested once again.]

But you do think it could get us outta here?

[A growl low in his throat.]

We don't exactly have a lotta options here.

[He'd be frowning, if he could. That is not exactly what he said. Can't help but feel as if the boy doesn't really understand.]

I think it could. Or it could-

[But how could he understand? There's no way to explain. Not to one who hasn't already risked it, who doesn't seem like the type who actually considers warnings. Is there a use in trying, again, to explain?]

[Killing all who come too near to it, he misses being able to do that. It's easier. Certainly more effective.]

-Or it could make things much worse. Not for me, but for you. In a way that's irreversible.

[The glow of it's still visible a little ways away, golden and beautiful and inviting. He stares at it. After a second, he sighs.]

You do have a choice, you know. Wander this place as we have been, search for something else. But that will take time. It's your choice, because it is your risk. But you do have a choice. So I ask you one more time: How dearly do you want to risk this?

...So either it'd bring me back or it'd keep me from gettin' back ever?

[His body sags, as if this revelation is a boulder that's been dropped into his shoulders. Even for Firo, a risk like this may simply be too much.]

You're the one who knows about this stuff. How long do you think it'll be until we find something else?

[He takes a second to think about it.]

Won't find anything else this powerful. Or more significant, which often counts for more in these situations. The memory itself holds a great deal of significance, and the object it represents is one which connects everything. Connects us too, maybe. Might take some time to find another symbol so fitting.

I don't know, boy. If I understood why you needed to get back maybe I could advise you better. It'll take a while. And that's if- if I can bring myself to be as open to you as I ought. Unless there's a memory more fitting in your mind somewhere, but I don't suppose you'd recognize it if you had one.

And? So if you're not open it takes even longer?

[Firo's hackles rise. He's tense and ready to spring, because that's not an answer he likes in any way. Though he's seen how ineffective the hunters' blows were, he's still tempted to go in swinging at this guy.

But then what? It doesn't seem likely that this guy would be bullied into helping him. They're not enemies. Firo straightens.]

I can't tell you more than I already have. I need to get back because we're supposed to be together. There's nothing else to it.

Now you be open with me. How're we gonna get out? If we're not using this thing, then what do we gotta look for?

And you think I can tell you more than I already have? Do you want a timeframe, boy? Humans are so impatient. Even before, they always were.

This is the first time I've done this. If I knew where to go to make the connection we need to, it wouldn't have taken so long as it has. We look for symbols, Firo Prochainezo. That's all I know to tell you. This in front of us is the most powerful symbol there is, and as long as we look we'll never see its like. Perhaps if I saw it with you I could direct it - it's my memory, after all. But I don't know. If we leave here, we'll find something else or we won't. That's all there is to tell you.

I'm sorry. For what it's worth, I'm sorry. This is a terrible risk for one who...

[The thought feels confused, sounds confused even as he says it. It comes out of him, but he's not sure from where.]

Who must miss his family very much. A terrible risk, to see their faces never again.

[Firo bites his lip as he listens. It doesn't sound too good either way, but this is what he has to work with.

He squares his shoulders and clenches both fists, facing the shadow straight on.

Yes, he does miss them. But he won't admit to that weakness--he has a duty to take care of.]

So this could be my only chance. If we leave this thing, I might never get back

Then I have to do it. No point in thinking about it.

[He turns to the light and starts walking.]

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